In the Blue

Let’s answer a few of your burning questions up front…

Yes, it was kicking only, unless you want count the 300 meters of wobbly stroke freestyle that I tried to swim at various points during the kick – the shoulder wasn’t ready for the big ocean yet! I’ll leave it up to you how you want to count it, 18.5km/11.5miles kicking around Coronado or 18.2km/11.3miles kicking + 300m/0.2miles kind-a sort-a swimming around Coronado. Either way, it was A LOT of kicking!

Answer to your second question, yes, it was kicking, no arms (again, unless you could the 300 meters swimming).

Answer to your third question, yes, I wore fins. Proudly. Along with a lot of other swim aids, which I’ll talk about later. These made this an “assisted” event – I don’t even know if you could call it a swim since I didn’t really swim – either way, assisted in the best way possible and not ratified. It was 100% fun!

Some of you are probably scratching your head right now with a hundred more questions. Some of you probably think that The Great Kick Around Coronado is the worst idea you’ve ever heard of and others are probably beginning to entertain the curiosity of it (others meaning the whole two of you). We’ll get into the details, but to start off this post is less about swimming and kicking than about how we define ourselves as people. I don’t know if this is going to go into a little deeper path than others or not. There were a lot of emotions during the kick and to be honest just like the kick, it’s a journey, so here we go!

What would happen if you couldn’t swim anymore?

It’s come up a time or two, people have asked, what would happen if you couldn’t swim anymore? At the time, I answered that I think I’d be fine because I have a career I’m very passionate about and I love. I have a home and all my front/backyard animals I love. I enjoy a nice variety of activities and though I would miss swimming immensely, I’m not defined as a person by my swimming abilities. I would learn to enjoy the ocean and the animals in other ways. I thought at that the time I believed it, but that’s all it was, a belief. A faith in many ways that hadn’t yet been proven or disproven. The Great Kick Around Coronado proved that belief.

There was a moment maybe an hour past the jetty where I was kicking on my back, staring up at the sky, watching a rainbow halo forming in the clouds around the sun. It was quiet, so quiet. There were big swells coming in from the open ocean and I could feel myself rise and fall with thought he sea. Then this feeling of immense emotion and togetherness came over me that I hadn’t felt in many, many years. I felt like Mother Nature and the ocean, She put me right where I was meant to be at that very moment.

I was inseparable from the water, we were together, and I had this emotional connection that was beyond anything describable by words in any language. It was all around me and it was in this moment I knew that if I couldn’t swim anymore, that if something happened and I couldn’t use my arms, my life would still be just as fulfilling. I was kicking and still experiencing all of if not more of a connection to the ocean below than I ever had when I swam. It was in this moment I knew that no matter what happens in the future, I could find an alternate path back home, to the ocean, and be fulfilled. I was more than a swimmer, I am not defined by my athletic abilities. I am defined by my resiliency and my ability to look beyond. And all of this started because I couldn’t swim.

[pause for tissue break…. whew, I’m feeling all the feels on this one already]

You need shoulder surgery

Earlier this year and rather suddenly I found out I was going to have shoulder surgery. I had never had surgery before. Never broken a bone, nothing. I made the choice early on to stop swimming. It was the day I couldn’t make 2,000yds in the pool. I scheduled an appointment at the doctor and after a little “acsquident” that exacerbated the issue, was in for surgery early July. Even with low-risk surgeries things can go wrong. I didn’t know if I had reactions to anesthesia or what recovery would be like. I just knew not being able to swim again was a possibility, very unlikely, but it was a possibility.

So… where does that leave me at my favorite swim spot along the Strait of Juan de Fuca? My seals Luna and Lyra are approximately 1km out from the launch spot, I need to be able to do 2km of something to get there and back. If I can’t swim, what can I do? I have legs, I can kick. And that’s were the rest of this story starts.

After surgery and after I got cleared to go back in the water, I worked my way back up to 2km kick, so I could get out to see my Luna and her newest seal pup Lyra. After that, I had some unfinished business with a taco swim I missed out on the year prior. Okay, 3.5km kick, check and done. Next was to fulfill a promise I made to two swimmers only 3-4 days post-surgery (we’ll blame the drugs on that one) that I’d kick Alki Bathhouse to Lincoln Park. Okay, 7km kick, check and done. After that I joked with a few people about kicking the Amy Hiland Route, Bremerton to Alki Beach, but then I started to wonder what if. Around that time Seattle swimmers were flocking to the San Diego area to do the Around Coronado Swim with Open Water Swim Academy. I had always thought about swimming it, but was never the right time. Could I kick it? It would be a completely 100% assisted swim in the best way possible, no ratification, for me, for fun, to get me back into the water again. I made the call.

Here’s the thing about Dan Simonelli. He’s an absolutely wonderful human being. Probably one of the best that exists. He is compassionate, caring, supportive, everything you would want in someone to support you on a swim. I had met Dan nearly three years ago when one of my swimmers was down yonder for Anacapa and we had kept in touch ever since. If you want to do Around Coronado Swim or help with qualifiers, coaching, etc, he is the guy to call. BUT (and in the best way possible BUT) if you do, be prepared you’ll be signing up for something and your money will fly out of your pocket quicker than jam on a biscuit spotted by a bear on a picnic table because he invests so much in his swimmers and their success, his passion, his knowledge, it’s just who he is. He makes you believe in yourself. You’ll feel his energy. You’ll be saying yes before you knew what hit you, and he’ll be there for you every step of the way. I held out 3 years and when I asked him what he thought about this wild idea I had to kick around Coronado, he said yes, and I was downloading Zelle to send cash before I even knew what Zelle was! AND it was the best money I’ve ever spent.

That was it, that’s all it took was for one person to say yes and The Great Kick Around Coronado was born.

Training

I trained much as you would for a kicking event where you had no clue what you were doing. I spent countless hours vertical kicking in the pool each week while the rest of the team practiced until I got the all clear by my physician to fully transition to the open water. I tested numerous pairs of fins to see what works and what didn’t with my kicking style, the speed I perceived I needed to generate to be successful, and lots and lots of swim toys.

Kicking presented new challenges. With waves, kicking on your back put a lot of strain on the neck to support the head high enough out of the water to avoid choking and being swallowed up by it. I tried a few different neck support devices and settled on a kid’s float neck pillow. With the neck pillow, all the pressure and strain were removed from the neck and I could focus on kicking. Kicking on your back and side also presented challenges with pain from a freshly mended shoulder. The swim buoy, normally used for visibility, was used to hold onto to alleviate pressure and movement in the shoulder when left dangling in the water. The swim buoy for kicking mimicked the shoulder abduction pillow in the shoulder sling to stabilize the shoulder.

Then there were more subtle things like a snorkel and breaking in the feel of the snorkel on the forehead. In the early days I’d often stick kelp between the snorkel and my forehead if it was too much pressure using the kelp as padding. I never switch my goggles during swims and I don’t like metallic goggles, but they’re required when staring up at the sky kicking on your back for eye protection. There were blisters upon blisters from the fins until I discovered fin socks that saved my feet. Then there is chafing, new places you never chafed before like the tops of your toes, inner thighs, and different areas of your body because of the material of your swimsuit that was never an issue before. So many new things to learn about, but I made it work.

Another really important aspect of training was understanding the mechanics of the flutter kick, what movements cause cramping, flexion of the foot and ankle, as well as hip flexor activation. For me, it was critical to remember that kick originates from the hip and my legs are secondary for extension of movement and propulsion. With so much flutter kick, any other kick such as dolphin or breaststroke would cause cramping, so I had to keep it flutter. Working up to 18.5km of kicking also puts a lot of pressure and stress on the flexion of the foot and ankle, specifically the top of the foot, opposite running and walking. I’m fortunate to have a downward flexion better suited for kicking than walking (probably one reason why I’m a horrible land animal), but you have to pay attention not to overdo it in training causing damage to the tendons and ligaments in your foot. Just like with open water swimming, you have to get to know your legs, feet, and how they move just as much as knowing and understanding the water around you and what it’s saying.

Around Coronado Swim Kick

The kick, now this is where it gets exciting and I will tell everyone, you just have to do the swim! It was the best experience of my life and I didn’t even swim, which is really telling you something! First off comparing to Seattle in December, San Diego is basically a Hawaiian vacation without the price tag of a Hawaiian vacation or the travel time. It’s warm. It’s sunny. It’s fun. It’s everything literally anyone could want in a swim, or kick in this case.

It’s a really cool way to see the city and with an 18.5km kick on your back, your sensory awareness is completely different. Since you’re looking up at the sky most of the time (the snorkel didn’t work out on the big day as sighting was too difficult), you had no sense of how fast or slow you were moving or direction. You really had to pay attention to and have faith in your kayakers (Summer was the best – thanks for putting up with my endless chatting too – fail on objective #1 – talk less), but you also had the opportunity to stop and take in the sights, chat more, ask questions, and converse with your kayakers and the wildlife around you. I got to really see the bridge as I kicked under it. I got to see the buildings in the distance as I kicked by. I got to watch the planes, pelicans, and helicopters fly overhead. I saw sea lions waiting for me at each buoy and experienced the biodiversity in flight with every bird that flew by.

I could feel the vibration of the fog horn at end of the jetty coming through the water and to my swim buoy as heard the blast. I felt every wave, every swell, the change in current and tide on my legs, the heat of the sun on my face, the upwells of cool and warm water. Everything was about sensation on the body since I didn’t have or need to focus on breathing as much. Feeds were nearly identical to my marathon swim feeds and schedule. The water was actually increased when I started getting a little too warm. Without the face constantly in the water, your sense of temperature changes as well.

As we went Around Coronado, it was pure joy from start to finish, and I’ve never been able to say that about any swim. I saw Point Loma and thought about Becky and Heidi who recently completed the PLOB, I thought about Carol while I was out in the open who also recently did Around Coronado. I thought about Mary Sue and Rose and Mary and all the other swimmers who I would get to join from Seattle to complete Around Coronado. I though about everyone who helped me along the way and who encouraged me from Jerome – who always keeps watch at the tower, Rose, Alison and Glenn – my adventure buddies, Chelsea – who counts me down each day at Alki, Zane – my long distance training partner, to Kirby – who saw me take my first wobbly stroke after surgery.

This swim encapsulated everyone, every feel, every connection I’ve made a long the way with the animals, it was everything and I didn’t even swim! The water temperature was 62F, the air was 66F, it was mostly sunny, the swells were big that pushed me into shore, and I enjoyed every single minute of it. This swim taught me that there’s another way and there’s people who will support another way. In a world where there’s so much focus on ratification and getting your name on a list, of which I still have goals coming to achieve that do fall into this category, it was pure joy to do a kick for me. To do something without pressure, with nothing to prove. I kicked for me. I felt complete freedom and that’s worth its weight in seashells.

There was no puking (though I prepared for it). There was no complaining (okay maybe for a brief moment when I was getting too warm). There was no wishing I was there yet (though add on another hour and it would have been a different story). It was my perfect swim, and the funny thing is, I didn’t swim at all.

The Cliff Notes

If you’ve read this far, great! You made it through yet another unintentional novel. If you skipped to this part, here’s what you need to know. You are not defined by any one thing or ability, but how you adapt to change. It took surgery for me to realize this and looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing. Having the potential exist for me never to swim again gave me the greatest perspective and outlook on adaptation, change, capability, self-acceptance, and self-worth. It has been yet another great chapter in this wonderful swim story that keeps on surprising me.

P.S. Around Coronado is amazing! Get a hold of Open Water Swim Academy, get your check ready, register, swim (or kick) it. You absolutely won’t regret it and you may get a free swim cap when you finish (no guarantees 😉).