Food & Funnies

Curiouser and curiouser…. All things food and funny about swimming, the unbelievable becoming believable and edible because of the water.

June 1, 2017: Food, Food & More Food!
Of course you read my blog post on my favorite breakfast items, They Cook Joy, They Cook Breakfast!  Since food is such an important aspect of training, I wanted to dedicate an ongoing post of all the food I love.  Here it is, the most amazing things I could literally eat every minute of every day.  Thanks to the wonderful guys at work who think and dream these amazing meals up every day!

August 13, 2016: Pure Revenge , I squashed it!
Of all the things that could go wrong during a swim, running head first into an acorn squash was not something I adequately prepared for. It hurt more than any jellyfish sting, any suit chafe, or barnacle cut. My eyes literally started welling up with tears, but I turned it around and hauled it the remaining 5k in plans to roast it for dinner!

August 4, 2016: Take Me Out to the Ball Game
Something only marathon swimmers will appreciate….. The funny look you get from the cashier checking out at the store purchasing shaving cream, petroleum jelly, latex gloves, ear plugs and Dramamine.  He asked if I was going to the baseball game. Hmmm….

July 15, 2016: Get me a sandwich!
Guy on bench: Did you just get done swimming?
Me: Sure did, the water’s a little cloudy today
Guy on bench (in nearly one breath): Yeah it’s cold too, but your bigger not like me, I’m skinny so it would be too cold for me, there’s people down here in frog suits too you know, I saw a lady in a frog suit the other day with one of them there orange things, she was thicker too like you, but you’re not in a frog suit and you have a tan like a thick slab of maple bacon, I could really use some bacon, I mean put that in a BLT and that there’s a sandwich.
Me: Well I’ve got to go wash the algae and bacon grease off, nice talking to you (sheesh, thank goodness I have a sense of humor).

June 23, 2016: The Night of the Full Moons…… Plural
It’s a beautiful evening at Alki, swimming an 8k under the light of a full moon….. 3 pasty white full moons to be exact, pants at their ankles, shaking their patooter towards the sea, shouting and waving as I swim by.  Apparently I’m irresistible to men today.  I mean I have them trying to impress me with their mathematical sensibility and shaking their rumps in my face….. It must be the swimsuit!

June 22, 2016: Pool Conversations with Cute Non-mathematicians
Guy: How many feet did you swim?
Me: [slight pause and look of confusion] I’m not sure, I measure my distance in yards, I swam a little over 4000.
Guy: Wow, that’s got to be at least 5000 feet, nearly a mile probably, right?
Me: [again, slight pause and look of confusion] Probably, but I wasn’t too good at math in school.
Guy: Wow, well good job, you must be training for the Olympics or something.
Me: Not quite, but thanks.
Guy: Okay well see ya, can’t believe you swam nearly a mile.  So cool!
Me: Thanks, bye [queue giggling in my head]